My Grandmothers

I am very fortunate to have my grandmothers. My paternal and maternal grandmothers have influenced me in more ways than one. I lost my paternal grandmother more than a decade ago…and almost lost my maternal grandmother recently...almost. As she lies recovering very slowly in hospital, I once again realize their impact on me.

Growing up, I was physically and emotionally closer to my ‘nannamma’ (paternal grandmother in Telugu -my mother tongue). My ‘ammamma’ (maternal grandmother) was more my holiday grandparent because as children we spent quite a few summer vacations with her and a bunch of cousins.

My grandmoms have quite a few similarities. Strong Leo women with a mind very much of their own, they thought way ahead of their time, despite restricted education and exposure to life. Generous to a fault… both continue to enjoy tremendous goodwill in their respective circle of family and friends. They had great regard for each other and were very warm and friendly when they met.

Similarities notwithstanding, they were poles apart as persons. Nannamma was dominating and authoritative by nature. It was hard to miss her presence. In contrast, ammamma is sober and silent…we had to remind ourselves that she was around! If one wanted everything to be done to her specification, the other hardly wanted anything specific for her. Nannamma was more the socialite while ammamma, more homebound.

I was the apple of my nannamma’s eyes. My parents could not even look hard in my direction when she was around me. To her, I was the (goddess)??!! “Lakshmi” of the house and so could never tolerate me crying or upset. My ammamma (maternal grandmother) would instantly light up whenever she saw us ‘display’ our talent. Even a sloppy dance, skit or song as part of summer vacation entertainment by us cousins would make her proud and beaming. She would immediately take us to a corner of the house and take salt drishti / nazar to ward off evil! Such were the moments of fun with my grandmothers – pure and unadulterated.

I was shattered losing my nannamma. I saw her die very slowly and painfully. Strangely after she passed on …I kinda got even closer to my ammamma. We may not have hung out together as much as I did with my nannamma, but, ammamma became a buddy I could share things with. We used to…..and still chat up as often as we can. Ammamma is a great entertainer – loads of her childhood anecdotes, straight faced one liners and gossip really rejuvenate (d) me. She is one exceptional octogenarian who practices the ‘live and let live’ policy. Very rare for a person of that generation.

I was extremely thrilled that my son was born in the same age and time as that of my remaining grandparents coz I believe it is a rarity.

My grandmothers continue to inspire and influence me. Besides, I am grateful to both of them for having given me my dad and mom. Love you ammamma and (late) nannamma.

Perception...greater than reality

My foray into the world of blogging with something that is omnipresent in our daily life – perception.

The dictionary defines the word as the act of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind…… an immediate or intuitive recognition or appreciation, insight, discernment (The act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment…..Keenness of insight and judgment).

Apprehension …intuition…judgement….happens to us ALL the time. As I write this, I remember a good friend who said “perception is greater than reality”…so very true. The last few years have taught me that. What we think or make out of people, situations or circumstances is far more exaggerated than the real person, situation or circumstance.

I have perceived and have also been perceived. My closest friends (initially) ‘thought’ I ‘looked’ haughty and unapproachable ….and eventually found me to be quite casual and friendly to get along with. Personally, I would like to believe the latter, as I am someone who craves for friends and have a great circle of friends.

I also fell into the trap of judging a book by its cover. This simple incident happened to me early this month. I was traveling by train with my hubby and under 2 year’s son. I was doing night travel and did not get the desired lower berth. Basically, I prefer the lower berth coz I put my son besides me to sleep and the lower berth minimizes the chance of him falling down or rolling off the berth. An elderly (but healthy and trim) couple was our co-passenger. I ‘thought’ the uncle ‘looked’ very unfriendly for me to even think of requesting him to exchange berths. As we were contemplating our next step, the elderly uncle of the couple voluntarily offered to exchange his lower berth with my middle berth. He said that he could see the hesitation on my face to ask him. Having an older grandson himself, he apparently faced a similar problem while traveling with little fellow. Since I had an even younger child, he told me understood the difficulty. Shocked (first) and relieved (next), I managed a weak but genuine ‘thank you’ to him. So much so for his ‘unfriendliness’?!!. Being a regular train traveler and having experienced insensitive behaviour from others, this simple yet touching gesture by the uncle made a lasting impact on me. It once again reiterated that what we think or make out of people may be entirely different from what they actually are.

To all my wonderful friends who love me and to the elderly uncle on the train whom I may never meet… thank you for making me appreciate the real thing!